esclavino

2024-10-18

unbearification

so… in the post “bearification” i was describing how and why i'm experimenting with shaping my body to get bigger. now it's time for a little update, because as you can see from the graph above, this whole year my weight has been consistently going down instead of up.

so i guess i just… gave up? after all, i've successfully proved to myself that i can gain weight if i want to, and i've found out that i love my body in either size (well okay, still not a fan of the underweight version from years ago) – so why not just stop?

in the first ten months of 2024 i've gone from my peak weight of 103,7 kg to 83 kg 🤯

i didn't go on any particular diet – neither to gain, nor to lose weight. what changed was my attitude, the big picture, the overarching goal – which was present in everyday tiny choices. do i want the extra cream or not? do i want a bigger portion or does this sound good already? do i want an extra snack? last year, i'd go for the more fattening option most of the time, even if i didn't really feel like it. this year all i did was change that attitude and pick whatever i was actually in the mood for.

i know that sounds almost too easy. many people are struggling with their weight one way or another, so i recognise how lucky i am that my metabolism is so cooperative, and that my baseline, even though it used to be skewed in childhood and teenage years, is making things easy to maintain now. and hopefully, maybe there are some people for whom me sharing my experience will be helpful in some way 😉